Die „längste fahrende Zumutung“ der Wiener Öffis – die U6

Obwohl die Lebensqualität in Wien grundsätzlich sehr hoch ist, kommt man spätestens in dem Moment, wenn man sich als Fahrgast in der grindigen U6 befindet, eindeutig an einer „schiachen“ Schattenseite dieser Stadt an.

Der abartige Gestank

Den Gestank aus einer Mischung aus scharfem Döner, Achselschweiß im Überfluss mit einer Prise Alkoholfahne und nassem Hund, der durch den Wagon fegt, während man mit der tiefsten Absteige der Wiener Öffis von A nach B fährt, bemerkt man recht schnell. Hätte diese unappetitliche U6 einen Soundtrack wäre „Mief “ von „Die Doofen“ jedenfalls sehr passend.

Magnet für unheimliche Menschen und Ereignisse

Die U6, oder Stationen wie beispielsweise: Meidling, Josefstädter Straße, Handelskai, Jägerstraße, Dresdner Straße oder Floridsdorf, scheinen offensichtlich ein Magnet für Drogendealer, Diebe und andere Verbrecher zu sein. Wenn man die regelmäßigen Polizeieinsätze aufgrund der hohen Kriminalität der U6 und deren Stationen live miterlebt, glaubt man manchmal in einem Thriller oder in einer Krimiserie zu sein.

Verhaltensauffällige und rücksichtslose Fahrgäste

Mitten im Gang des Wagons der obskuren U6 befinden sich meistens zu viele Menschen, Fahrräder, und Kinderwägen, die sowieso immer im Weg stehen, sowie Volksschüler, die im Gedränge mit ihren XXL-Schultaschen auf dem Rücken pro Kopf so viel Platz wie der Bulle von Tölz einnehmen, und nervige Fahrgäste, die sich beim Einsteigen auf engstem Raum wie Sardinen in einen bereits überfüllten Wagon quetschen. Die Fahrt mit der vollgestopften U6 während der Rushhour wird daher zu einer regelrechten Tortur. Wegen der stickigen Luft kann man kaum atmen und wer Platzangst hat, leidet. In dem Moment ähnelt die U6 eher einer Legebatterie mit armen eingesperrten Hühnern, als einem Transportmittel.

Ergattert man in diesem Durcheinander dann irgendwie, wie durch ein Wunder einen der heißbegehrten Sitzplätze, neben oftmals sehr gewöhnungsbedürftigen Sitznachbarn, muss man leider ein bis zwei Stationen vor dem Ziel wieder aufstehen, um sich rechtzeitig den Weg durch das Gedränge aus dem Wagon ins Freie erkämpfen zu können. Das ist aber in der U6 das geringere Übel, wenn man bedenkt, dass man sonst verzweifelt im Gang des Wagons  in der Menge eingequetscht steht und von allen Seiten angerempelt  wird.

Während der Fahrt  möchte man mit den meisten Fahrgästen den Blickkontakt so gut es geht vermeiden und versucht an etwas Schöneres als die U6 zu denken. Während man damit beschäftigt ist, sich gedanklich oder virtuell von dieser fahrenden Katastrophe des “Wiener Undergrounds” wegzubeamen, reißt einen der wahnsinnige Lärm in dieser berüchtigten U-Bahn-Linie rasch aus allen Tagträumen oder der virtuellen Smartphone-Welt. Kindergeschrei, sehr private Telefongespräche in aller Öffentlichkeit und andere laute oder frustrierte, schimpfende Fahrgäste machen einem wieder blitzartig die äußerst „schiache“ Realität im Wagon der U6 bewusst.

Falls einem das Lachen zu diesem Zeitpunkt tatsächlich noch nicht vergangen ist, wird der Fahrgast von einer komischen Durchsage überrascht, die anzweifelt, dass man ohne Warnung derart unfähig ist und nicht unfallfrei aus der U-Bahn steigen kann. Dabei müssen sich nicht wenige Fahrgäste das Lachen verkneifen. “Vorsicht, zwischen Bahnsteig und Türe ist ein Spalt”, spricht die strenge Stimme von oben, die einen an den besserwisserischen Kontrollfreak aus dem Verwandten- oder  Bekanntenkreis erinnert. Bei manchen Mitfahrenden müssen sich die Wiener Linien offensichtlich prophylaktisch absichern, falls sie aus der U-Bahn stolpern, aber bei so einigen verhaltensoriginellen Kreaturen in der U6 ist das auch nachvollziehbar.

Der Lärmpegel wird bei längerer Fahrt übrigens nicht besser, sondern schlimmer, und die Durchsagen wiederholen sich und nerven gewaltig. Laute Gespräche und die verschiedenen Musikstile, die aus den unterschiedlichsten Kopfhörern oder Handys dröhnen, untermalen diese tragisch-komische Alltagszene. Als wäre der Lärm nicht unerträglich genug, steigt bei der nächsten Station die singende Bettlergruppe ein, die mit einer Ziehharmonika begleitet wird. Bei jeder Fahrt  ist man erneut überrascht, was für eine wahnsinnige Reizüberflutung die U6 einem bieten kann.

Fehlt nur noch, dass ein Fahrgast geschubst oder angepöbelt wird, oder  ein übercooler Pubertierender seine dreckigen Festivalschuhe ausgerechnet auf den Sitz hinknallt, wo die Oma nun gerne sitzen würde. Ausgerechnet dann bleibt die U-Bahn aufgrund einer Störung einfach stehen. Allerspätestens zu diesem Zeitpunkt kann man die Wiener Raunzer in ihrer Höchstform live miterleben. Da verwandelt sich der Krimi der U6 eher in Kaisermühlen Blues.

Während sich die werten Fahrgäste aufregen und sich verbal zerfetzen, fragt man sich insgeheim, warum man eigentlich kein angenehmeres Verkehrsmittel, wie ein Fahrrad, Moped oder ein Auto gewählt hat. Man kann es  kaum erwarten, dass man bei der nächsten Station mit beachtlicher Verspätung, das gewünschte Ziel erreicht hat, somit der „schiachen“ U6 endlich den Rücken kehrt, wieder frische Luft einatmen und sich frei bewegen kann.

Dies sind nur einige Ursachen, warum die Fahrt mit der U6 für Fahrgäste nicht selten zur Geduld-, oder Wutprobe wird. Wir wünschen beim gewagten Selbstversuch zur Rushhour Nerven aus Stahl für die bevorstehende Gruselfahrt  in der „Wiener – Öffi – Absteige“ ;)!


Titelbild: Fotolia/thongsee

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    • Impailt
      Impailt says:

      SNP genotypes were coded as additive effects on the log odds ratio by coding as 0, 1, or 2 for the count of the minor allele minoxidil vs propecia CM Cervical mucus; EAI Endometrial arterial impedance; ET Endometrial thickness; EM Endometrial morphology; NRO Number of retrieved oocytes; COR Cycle ovulation rate; FR Fertilization rate; NHQE Number of high- quality embryos; NPY Neuropeptide Y; AMH Anti- Mullerian hormone; BCL- 2 B- cell lymphoma- 2; IRS- 1 Insulin receptor substrate- 1; PI3K Phosphatidylinositol- 3- kinase; AKT Protein kinase B; GLUT4 Glucose transporter 4; BAX Bcl2- Associated X; E 2 Estradiol; P Progesterone; T Testosterone; LH Luteinizing hormone; OHSS Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome; CPR Clinical pregnancy rate; PPR Persistent pregnancy rate; LBR live birth rate; BPR Biochemical pregnancy rate; AR Abortion rate; Improve; Reduce

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  13. математика 4 класс